ID cards

So they aren't going to be compulsary - unless you want to do anything presumably. The real bit of evil control freakery was the database behind them, and that's going to stay.

Do you ever wonder?

What is going on? I was driving on a motorway earlier at a fairly
sedate pace when I noticed (in my mirrors) a car approaching from
behind at speed. As it drew closer and then passed I saw what turned
out to be a Police car following suicidally close behind it. I
expected the police to pull the car over, but they didn't - very odd.

Joe Jackson

A Cure For Gravity, the Joe Jackson book I mentioned before is one of
those I have mixed feelings about as I approach the end. On the one
hand I look forward to reading more; on the other hand I don't want to
finish it because I've enjoyed it so much. I have dug out a load of
old Joe Jackson recordings, and will be digging out many more. Often
I'm dissapointed when people who are famous for one talent try
another, but Joe is a really gifted writer in my none too humble
opinion.

Employee Screening

Over at Health Business is an article that caught my eye whilst I was looking for something else. This, for me represents all that is going wrong in the UK today.

The author selectively quotes research, but it is intermingled with unsubstantiated claims that justify his central thesis that outsourcing your snooping and prying into the backgrounds of anyone who was the temerity to work for you is an essential part of the business of any modern day employer.

I won't go through the whole thing, as I don't have time, but just a few examples;

The author quotes some research, but then goes on to say "80 per cent of UK jobseekers now search online, but this growth is mirrored by a huge rise in CV fraud" He doesn't say what "huge" is in this context, or what his definition of fraud is - I seem to recall a fairly high percentage of people owning up to a little artistic licence and similar on their CVs but there's nothing here to distinguish people trying to cover up a gap year or a period of unemployment they'd prefer to forget from those who are keeping quiet about the time they served for embezzlement. Just an alarming and entirely unjustified claim about CV fraud - whatever that is.

He goes on:
"Historically, it’s true that employers have preferred to invest in IT, data and premises security whilst overlooking or neglecting what’s possibly the greatest risk of them all – the internal risk of employing wrong or ‘rogue’ staff. To be fair, that’s probably because the technology to outsource independent staff screening procedures has not been widely available until recently. " Or maybe to be fair, it's because, as he says it is only possibly the greatest risk of all. As in not actually.


There's more - apparently, you can't even trust people you know who you have worked with for years:
"Get your outsourced screener to verify signatures and addresses of directors and cross-reference against dates of birth. Check against photos on annual reports or social network sites. It’s amazing how many don’t tie up!"

My Facebook picture is of two old cars - and I never, ever sign up for social networking sites using my own name or date of birth - so how's that going to look when I'm screened?

"Think for a moment about the corporate manslaughter risks of not checking the validity of something so basic as a driving licence – if an employee with a fake or invalid licence endangers a customer or fellow employee and the employer hasn’t even bothered to undertake simple verification screening with the DVLA, then company insurance will be invalid and any claim will rest with the negligent directors. "

I used to work in the insurance industry - and I can't recall a single case of this type. Nor can I recall a prosecution for corporate manslaughter on the grounds an employer didn't demand to see the driving licence of every employee and then pay someone to check with the government agency renowned for its faultless accuracy that it was valid. I can't recall that because it hasn't happened - and it isn't likely to.

My point is that whilst there are bad people out there, the problem may be overstated (certainly no hard evidence is put forward in the article - it's all about the terror that comes from not snooping into everything and everyone). People and organisations like this are (in league with civil servants) trying to create work for themselves on what, in my opinion, is a largely false premise. If most people weren't basically honest, society couldn't function - shame on those who want to suspect everyone on the basis of a few bad eggs.

Joe Jackson

Joe Jackson is a genius. I thought so before, but he's reinforced my view as I'm reading his excellent book "A Cure For Gravity". It's a joy to read about his love for music, and I feel kinship in (some of) his brilliantly described experiences as a bright, sensitive, tall, skinny kid who was hopeless at sport being victimised by other kids and teachers alike and never really knowing why.

Like Joe, I tried to learn the violin at school and was roundly abused for it and accused of being "posh" a "puff" etc. Unlike Joe, I never did master the violin. Niether have I trimuphed in the same way as him by writing such a brilliant account of the experience, but I've always enjoyed his music, and now I'm enjoying his writing too. He's inspiring me to try and do better at stuff too.

Downloaders won't be disconnected

According to various reports today, the government has decided that there's no real way to make a law to enable/force ISPs to disconnect people who use file sharing to obtain music and video illegally.

 

I don't use file sharing at all.

 

Apparently the government has some other great ideas instead like adding a levy for all users.....

 

OK, once again living in this country is like being in a giant primary school.  The government and the record industry can't be bothered to go after the real offenders, so we'll all have to pay.

 

If they do this, I will be actively investigating file sharing - after all, if they're going to charge, I may as well get my money's worth.

Use Of Language

My work is loosely based around IT, and I'm old enough to have had some experience of program code.  I am probably the last bloke you'd want to write your code for anything, but I have an idea how some of it works.  One of the things that more geeky (technically able) programmers will sometimes observe is that there can be many ways to achieve a desired result. 

 

Whilst all of them may do what is needed, some will be more elegant and attractive than others.  Some may make it easier to modify the code in the future, some may get things done faster, some more efficiently.  To the person who has an eye for this knd of detail, the "raw" code behind a piece of software or even a website may be a thing of beauty or an ugly train crash, even though a casual observer or even user of the software may never even see what's below the surface.

 

So it is with English.  There are so many ways to say things, and some of the most ugly cliches do convey a meaning.  I was smirking because the bloke next to me at the coffee stall his lunchtime was one of the foremost proponents of the business cliche.  He was explaing to a colleague that there was an "incredible scenario" at one of their "stores" because one of the managers had punched a colleague.  He had managed to get reinstated, but various staff members were refusing to work with him.  Meanwhile, another manager was "in limbo" managing two "stores" and was a bit "like a rabbit in the headlights".  

 

This chap was making his point, but in a way I found inelegant, however since he plainly has no interest in the words he uses,   I couldn't reasonably expect him to say it in any different way, nor should I.  I have to accept that not everyone cares what words they use, any more than they care whether the bloke who wrote their website indented his code.

John Peel

Through the grey of an Eastern morning, sat on a train at Colchester Station I spied a railway loco with the name plate "John Peel".  I wondered if it was named after John Peel the DJ, or the earlier figure from history.....

 

I suppose I could do a Google search or something, but I haven't got around to it.

Robinson Way & Co. Ltd

I received a letter from this company regarding a "debt".  This "debt" has nothing to do with me - they cannot have any grounds for suggesting otherwise.  The letter demands that I call their 0870 number to agree a payment plan.

 

I see no reason to swell their coffers or waste my time by phoning - and in any case my experience of phoning British Gas (who are the originators of the non-existing debt) was that when they agreed to do (or not do) something and then didn't, they also denied any knowledge of the phone call.  I don't owe anyone anything anyway.

 

The letter had an email address - so I used it.  Then I reminded them (twice) that they hadn't replied.  In the end I got the following response:

 

"With reference to your recent email, please note any responses will be actioned accordingly by post and not by email.

Regards

Robinson Way & Co. Ltd." 

 

What a stupid attitude - we'll supply you an e-mail address, but don't bother trying to use it. 

European Court Of Human Rights

Together with the Human Rights Act, this place tends to get a bad press.  I see news today, however, that they have upheld what I've always regarded as our basic right to be considered innocent until (and unless) proven otherwise.

 

Two men who had had been detained by the Police, but later faced no action had asked the Police to delete their fingerprint and DNA records.  The Police refused, and our own dear House Of Lawyers also thought this was fine.

 

Thankfully, the ECR still has some idea of what freedom and privacy means.

 

Jaqui Smith, our poor excuse for a Home Secretary, is disappointed.  How dare she be disappointed that innocent men are entitled to be treated as innocent?

 

Clear battle lines are being drawn here I think, and not just in politics.  There's one camp which I'm in who think the authorities are our servants and should leave us alone unless they have proper proof we've been up to no good.  Then there's the Jaqui Smith camp who think that it's OK to gather as much data as possible on everyone and trawl through it regularly to see if there are any dodgy looking results, this saves the tiem and expense of doing proper investigations. 

 

Many people argue that we'd all be better off if everyone's DNA and fingerprints were on record, and our own dear government makes little secret of their desire to do this.  What they fail to realise (or don't care about) is the potential for abuse and error that this would create.

Tax cuts and rises

The cut in VAT and the increases planned for the future are, it seems to me, just pure politics.  They are desigend to make it look as if something's being done, even if it isn't.  The really cynical and political part is that if the gamble doesn't work, the people who cooked it up just get booted out of power and have to manage on a generous pension paid for by the rest of us.  If it "works" they get more time holding the levers of power and gambling with our cash and our futures.  Nice work if you can get it.

Misery Memoirs

It seems that the Mum of the "mother" of misery memoirs (at least here in the UK) denies it all and says she didn't do most (or possibly any) of the wicked things alleged in the book.

 

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/london/7735651.stm

 

This case continues, but it raises some interesting questions - if Mum wins and wins big damages, she'll receive money from sales of a book about stuff that she says didn't happen.  If the court rules that most or all of the allegations in the book were indeed ficticious, will purchasers ask for their money back because they only bought it on the basis that it was true?

 

Of course, it may be that it's all true - only the author and her Mum really know for sure.  If it is, but the Court decides it wasn't that will be extremely unfortunate.  I wonder if this case may open (to coin a cliche) the floodgates for the alleged perpetrators named in misery memoirs to sue the authors, claiming it's all fiction?

Hands Off My Organs

I have carried a donor card for mopre than 25 years, because I believe in it.  This was against the wishes of my Mother, who when I lived at home, used to destroy my card.  

 

If we move to presumed consent I will make it abundantly clear to everyone I know that I no longer wish to donate any organs at all after my death.  Gordon Brown thinks he knows better and that my organs should become property of the State; he can go and stick his presumed consent.

Bose Headphones

I have a particularly boring repetitive task to do so I am listening to music on my iPod, though the Bose ie-ear phones I bought a while ago.  I have just heard a bit of piano in "Do anything you wanna do" by Eddie and the Hot Rods that I'd never noticed before.  In fact I had to go back and listen several times just to make sure - it's definitely there, but it is so faint it sounds like someone in an adjacent studio mucking about on a piano (as indeed it may well be).

Border Patrol Uk (or something)

I watched a documentary on the UK Border Gang (sorry can't remember what their proper title is and it'll have changed by the time I find out).  They seemed bright, motivated individuals for the most part, but as usual they appear hamstrung by daft rules.  

 

When they detain an individual here illegally, if they can't find a passport or similar document, they can't deport them.  Instead they give them a piece of paper with a stern instruction to report regularly.  Then they are let go and (mostly it seems) never heard from again. 

 

What a ridiculous waste of time and (our) money. 

Job Ad Translation

Do people fall for the nonsense recruiters put in job ads?

 

This one caught my eye;

 

This is a very important programme for the organisation therefore close co-operation with key business stakeholders will be necessary to ensure full buy in to the new systems. You'll need to be an effective communicator with a charismatic ability to gain buy in and be able to deliver on time and to budget.

 

I can't help feeling that the reality here is:

 

The client has a lot of political issues and wants to force in a new system.  Management is too weak to do this so you'll be expected to do it.  At the same time, if "stakeholders" rebel against the new system, it'll be your fault.

 

What a dream assignment.

 

Does anyone working as a Payroll Project Manager in IT really think they have charismatic ability?

 

(I'm not a Payroll Project Manager but I wouldn't describe myself in that way)

Ad Hearing

What are they learning them in the skools theeese dace?

 

This is from a job Advert-

 

"This includes Data Preparation; Ad hearing to templates for each transaction ......."

 

http://www.cwjobs.co.uk/JobSearch/JobDetails.aspx?NoExpire=1&JobId=40125491

A Quiet Evening out

The place I'm working currently is not famed for its choice of cosmopolitan eateries. In fact it's probably more famous for stabbings and muggings. Last night I decided I was tiring of Marks And Spencer picnics in my room, I'd eaten everything I liked the look of on the Hotel's bar menu several times (I've been stying there for the last 8 months) and I fancied an Italian Meal.

I'd spotted what I thought was a reasonable looking place a while back. I'm not sure if it's a chain or not. It seemed busyish without being too packed. I should have realised straight away that something was wrong when I walked in and a passing waitress averted her eyes and scuttled off as she saw me. No matter, I asked the guy behind the bar for a table for one - he politely showed me to a table. Where I sat and watched the comings and goings of the staff a while. No menu, no drinks offered, nothing. So I decided I'd go elsewhere. After all, I can sit in the bus station or the shopping centre and be ignored, and that's free.

I decided to go down the road to the Italian place where I've eaten before (and had good service). I'd only decided to try the other one from a mixture of curiosity and laziness. On the way, however, I decided to try an Indian Restaurant I hadn't eaten in before.

I was greeted warmly (good start) and invited to sit anywhere. I hadn't noticed before but the place was empty. So I picked a table for two about half way in. When I sat down I noticed the next table had two half finished pints of beer and some unfinished food on it.

My food was speedy and pretty reasonable. After a little while the next table was re-occupied by two very drunk women. Their speech was just about intelligible, although every other word seemed to be "fack" or "cant".

They recounted the evening's events over and over again to the extent that I was tempted to look at my watch in case we'd slipped into some sort of time vortex in a groundhog day stylee. They were, it seems, a lesbian couple, but one had been on the end of unwelcome attention from another woman.

"I thought you were going to knock her out" (I've omitted the facks) "I would've - and would you blame me?" - and so on. They were drunk enough to think that belching loudly and then saying sorry was hilarious (actually it was less offensive than the smell of them or their language). I ate up, paid up and left, wondering what the remainder of the evening had in store for the two of them and the proprietor of the restaurant.

Ho Hum another groovy evening in our beloved capital.

Tonight is late night opening in the shopping centre so I may try my luck there - or possibly I'll take the train out of this dump. I want reasonably healthy food at a sensible price, good (fast) service and quietish place to eat - why is that such a tall order in London?

Drugs

I have never tried any drugs other than alcohol (and maybe caffeine).  I feel a bit left out, actually.  Partly because I have never smoked (never even tried a ciggy), I never tried dope either (I suppose I could've tried it in a cake).  It seems most of the politicians have had a go on it now, but still they think it should be illegal.

 

I am, and have been for some time, in favour of legalising drugs - all of 'em too, not just dope.  It seems utterly hypocritcal to me that alcohol is legal and dope isn't.

Kate Rusby

Is a national treasure. I first came across her in a flim called Heartlands. Since then I've listened to quite a lot of her stuff. There is something about her voice that just rips up something inside me (in a nice way).

And she apparently likes flying about as much as me.

Thanks

To the kind person who handed over the phone I'd stupidly left on the train, whoever you are.

iPod touch Firmware 2.0 and other Apple stories

The world of Apple is supposed to one of benign user-friendliness isn't it?

Mrs Urko has an Ipod touch. She downloaded the latest version of iTunes. This in turn allowed her to download applications - iPint took her fancy. Unfortunately, she could find no way to get iPint from iTunes on to her iPod.

At first, neither could I, but after a bit of Googling it appeared that in order to install applications on her iPod, she needed an upgrade to the 2.0 Firmware, for which Apple wanted £5.99. Apple could have made this a bit clearer, but they obvoiously assume everyone knows their porducts.

She decided to make the purchase through iTunes but we weren't out of the woods yet. Her work lappy uses a VPN connection and wherever iTunes gets it's firmware updates from is blocked by her employers. This manifests itself as the download appearing to start then disappearing. Something that iTunes warns may take 30 minutes took (apparently) 3 seconds. No error message but no firmware update either. Can't really blame Apple for this.

Not being enough of a technical whizz to get around the block (I reckon it should be possible) I opted to use my laptop instead. The thirty minutes turned out to not far off. Connected up the iPod and asked it nicely to sync the firmware at which point it said that it couldn't due to an "unknown error" it then appeared to hang. After waiting a while and resetting the iPod, iTunes reported that a poorly iPod had been connected and a restore would have to be done - OK.

After quite a time, it claimed to have restored factory settings. In fact what it had done was wipe all the music and photos, and in spite of all the confusing messages, had installed the firware upgrade. So in only a few hours and for six quid, she was able to pull a virtual pint on an iPod.

I want to like Apple stuff, but it ain't easy. And my Mum's iBook has decided to fry itself now it's just out of warranty, having had to be retured under warranty once already.

Unhealthy Lifestyles Cost NHS £750 million

Apparently, the NHS is spending £750 million is wouldn't otherwise beacause of "unhealthy lifestyles". Actually, it's probably a lot more than that if you factor in people who drive in a reckless way, engage in physical sports, or sustain injuries in DIY accidents. But those aren't counted. Yet.

No, this is more from the lifestyle police. I don't even accept that there's such a word as lifestyle, however I know I'm in the minority so I'll just go along with it (the word) for now. There is an extremely unpleasant sneering puritanical streak in this kind of study (or at least the political spin that follows it).

It gives people a licence to sneer at fat people, smokers and a whole range of others because of their "lifestyles".

I don't like it a bit - it is mean spirited, and although I'm not a Christian, it strikes me as Unchristian.

SATS

I see Ed Balls "feels the pain" of the kids awaiting their SATS results, but it looks as though saying sorry it happened on his watch might just be a bit too much.  Is it any wonder that kids don't accept responsibility for stuff if adults won't show the way?  One thing that led to my mistrust of authority and authoritarians was the minority of teachers at school who misused their power.  If kids see that adults can make things miserable and rotten for them and no-one will take responsibility for any of it or say sorry, what's that teaching them about people in charge?

How the Mighty Fall

I read in today's paper about a judge who met his wife's new bloke at a barbecue after what was described as a bitter and acrimonious divorce.   The judge threatened this guy on account of the new bloke being around his kids.  He's been convicted and ordered to do community service.

 

It must be pretty hard to take when your ex-wife parades her new bloke in fornt of you and your kids, I can see that.  Evidently some people who are used to sitting in judgement of others can't accept it when they are treated in this way.  Unfortunately for them, they have to behave themselves.

 

In another case I heard on the radio, a student has been turned down for a place at a top medical school because of a conviction for burglary when he was 16.  A woman on the radio was arguing the case for forgiveness and that this sent a message that criminals might as well continue with crime as society would offer them anything else.  I beg to differ.  All this says is that a top University might choose not to offer one of their hard-won places to someone who has misbehaved quite seriously in the not too distant past.  This guy has secured a place at another University and will no doubt go on to become a doctor (unless he decides to go back on the rob).  Like thousands of others he is finding it a little harder to get a highly paid and very responsible career when his past actions suggest dishonesty - and what's so terrible about that? 

ID cards - now the answer to illegal immigration

The BBC has done an excellent undercover operation finding street after street of people living and working illegally. One point they made was the apparent lack of fear of detection and sanction of the people concerned.

The details were on telly tonight but they are summarised here.

The government wouldn't respond to the BBC except to say it proved we need ID cards.

I cannot believe the stupidity and ignorance of these morons. You don't need the fingerprints of all of the (vast majority) law abiding population to stop illegal immigration. You need to take enforcement action against the perpetrators, not people who have nothing to do with it. The illegals don't fear being caught because they know no-one in the Government or Civil Service is interested in getting off their fat arses to do anything about them. And for the terminally hard of thinking pillocks we have for a government - how many illegal immigrants are they expecting to dutifully queue up at the fingerprinting and interrogation centres?

MPs expenses

It seems they have voted for little change. I've heard the case made quite well for the fact that they divide their time between two places, their work and their home (in some cases, like our Conservative MP in the 80s, more than two – he actually lived in Buckinghamshire, about 100 miles from his constituency, but kept a house in the constituency and had a flat in London). For those MPs who don't have an independent source of wealth, I can see that this could be a problem.

This is interesting, in that it mirrors my own working arrangements for about the last 10 years. Since I go where the work is, and I can't afford the costs and upheaval of moving house each time I start a new contract, I tend to live in a Hotel or flat during the week and return home at weekends.

Where this differs from MPs is that there are very strict rules about what I can claim as expenses. Amongst things that would almost certainly attract additional personal taxation or simply not be allowed are many of the things that reports suggest they are spending their ACA on – that seems wrong.

By all means, have their employer (us) pay for their reasonable expenses in running a second home in the capital – but make those payments subject to exactly the same scrutiny and tax rules as the rest of us. Apart from anything else, they'd see how these things actually work for the rest of us, and they might realise how daft some of the rules are (so daft they have opted out!) and change them for everyone.

Finally, they should be subjected to the same Pension arrangements as the rest of us.

Max Mosley

“My wife and I had been married for 48 years and together for more than 50 years . . . We met as teenagers and she never knew of this aspect of my life so that headline in the newspaper was completely totally devastating for her and there is nothing I can say that could ever repair that.”

I am no fan of the News Of The World, Max, but that's a heck of a secret to keep in a 50 year relationship. Surely it was obvious that sooner or later, it would become apparent.

“I don’t believe anyone who was a sensible modern adult would honestly believe these activities to be sick.”

Depends on your definition of sick, mate, but I do see myself as a sensible modern adult and I wouldn't get enjoyment from paying to hurt (or be hurt by) other people - and I do think there's something wrong with you if you do.

The English Patient

A film I really loved when I saw it.

Apparently there was a point as it was being made where the Hollywood studios panicked and asked Anthony Minghella if he'd consider stopping what he was doing (making the film with Juliette Binoche who worried them because a French actress had never "done any box office") and make it with Mel Gibson and Michelle Pfeiffer instead.

I never even realised that this sort of thing goes on (I never stopped to think about it really) but Minghella deserves a (unfortunately posthumous) medal for sticking to his guns. The film won a stack of Oscars (and it deserved to).

Pies and Prejudice

In what will likely be the first of many posts on Stuart Maconie's
excellent book, I (and the author) have got to Crewe. He mentions the
Railway Hotel -apparently Alexei Sayle set a novel there. I stayed
there once. Better yet, he has the same sniggering reaction to teenage
boys trying to dress like gangsters as I do. He expresses a similiar
concern to that which I felt that this reaction is middle aged.

He's trying not to look at us

Minding my own business heading to the lift on my floor of the Hotel this morning, I encountered two largish Ladies of I guess about my own age done up to the nines in summer attire including hats and struggling with huge volumes of luggage.

One of them looked me up and down and and said "you're a bit underdressed".

I was a little taken aback.  My current client doesn't demand a suit and tie, but I was wearing a sober dark suit and smart shoes and shirt, although it being warm in the office, I have taken the opportunity to do without a tie.

Then I tumbled - they were off to Ascot.

We got into the lift.  The mouthy one said "he's trying hard not to look at us"

I agreed this was true.  The reason (although I didn't say so) was that it was a ghastly apparition, especially so early in the morning.

I related the tale to a workmate who opined that it was possible they could have had a drink in spite of the early hour in preparation for the day, I must admit I hadn't considered this.

Good point, well made

A letter in today's Telegraph made me smile. In the light of even
more top secret and sensitive data being left lying around in public
places the writer points out that if the government and civil servants
made as much effort keeping the stuff secret as they did trying to
keep details of MPs expenses secret, the problem would not arise.

Abu Qatada's bail 'disappointing'

Well, that's one word for it.

I know the government can't tell the Courts and Judges what to do - and that's a good thing. 

However something is badly wrong when they can manage to get 42 days detention without trial, but they can't send a bloke who came here on a false passport back to where he came from, but instead they use my cash to support him and his considerable family on benefits.  I don't normally go on about "scroungers" but this guy and his family are parasites.

42 Days too far

This is a sad day for Britain. I pity the people who believe this will make any of us safer. The terrorists have the help of the Police and Gordon in destroying our traditional and hard-won freedoms. They should all hang their heads in shame.

42 Days too far

Gordon Brown says that in order to protect freedom and democracy, the State must be able to put people in jail, with no evidence and no trial, for up to 42 days. This isn't the kind of freedom I understand, and whilst I oppose all forms of terrorism, I am happy for me and mine to take any risks associated with living in a free society.

Gordon is wrong on this, and I hope he is defeated.

Charlie Wilsons War

Sat down to watch the DVD. Before we could watch it though, we had to sit though a compulsory propaganda film about AIDS in Africa introduced by whining Gwinny Paltrow (I had to ask who she was). The DVD wouldn't let us fast forward past it. We paid for this! Next we had a piece of propaganda about pirate DVDs. Hello? We paid! We paid for you to lecture us. Next time I'm downloading or buying a pirate copy.

There are more of them....

I thought Neil was bad at accepting other viewpoints, but now thanks (actually no thanks at all - like him I wish I hadn't) to Longrider, I become aware of this bloke.

Of course he has a perfect right to an opinion just like anyone. What I find depressing is that such an apparently well qualified bloke takes such a patronising approach to comments on his blog:

Tax Research LLP wrote:
Georges comment has been allowed simply to show just how anti-social some who seek to use the Nazi excuse for tax haven secrecy are.

Posted on 25-Mar-08 at 6:09 pm |

At what point in promoting an open debate on anything does grudgingly "allowing" someone the dubious honour of commenting on his sacred blog and then setting in the context that such an opinion is anti-social really help?

and

PS Please don’t bother to reply - as you know, I find your style so offensive I won’t be repeating this unusual exception of allowing you on here for a change

Of course no-one's obliged to have comments on their blog at all, and no-one (I agree with Richard on this) should have to put up with abuse or illegal comments.

However, appearing to select comments using a number of other less worthwhile (in my humble opinion) criteria*, and then sneering at the comments (or indeed the contributors) you don't like, isn't very endearing, and it doesn't seem a very grown up way of debating the issues.

*Comments are apparently disallowed if a bogus e-mail address is entered and "Pseudonyms are strongly discouraged" (whatever that may mean). I'm not sure why this should be so; evidently anyone using either (or both) couldn't have a valid opinion according to Richard.

Furthermore, in spite of his long list of qualifications, he is apparently unable to master the use of the humble apostrophe:

Actually, I don’t buy that. Lot’s (sic) of people are available 24 hours a day and don’t get as much coverage. TJN, for start, even though we (unlike the TPA) actually try to provide considered analysis and real research on stories.

and

I am, to be candid, shocked that the ACCA let’s (sic) him say such things, for these reasons..

Yes (schoolboy errors aside), we'll all be better off when membership of a professional body determines exactly what one is allowed to say.

Richard also claims that there is no difference between tax evasion and avoidance - and to his credit, allows a comment from Devil's Kitchen in response - just the one though - he shuts down the debate as outlined above rather than risk a conversation with DK. Presumably he fears that DK has the intellectual rigour to offer a serious challenge to his assertion. We'll never know.

All of this is a shame as I found some stuff to agree with in what he writes. Although he doesn't offer much evidence for his assertion that tax secrecy in Switzerland was less of a response to the rise of Nazism than the popular historic consensus suggests (he posts one link and as a lucky commenter points out, that just supports the consensus view), he has a point in saying that 70 years on, there's no similar excuse. Unfortunately, if people like this are the best advocates of a fairer tax regime, I don't think they're going to make much real headway; certainly no real debate.

Notwork Rail

So I sat there at 6.30 - the Train manager was very apologetic, but he said overrunning engineering works meant that he had no idea when we'd be leaving for London.

Later (we hadn't moved) he said the advice from Network Rail was to bale out if our journey was not essential. OK, I thought - taxi home and regroup - only half an hour sat on a train going nowhere.

Which I did (although getting a cab home when a few hundred others on the train have just had the some idea wasn't easy).

Back at the ranch I discovered that the information available online was, as is so often the case, sketchy and conflicting. The National Rail Enquiries site had a dire warning about people being tipped off trains and onto buses at Shenfield. Elsewhere on the same site delays of only an hour or so were showing and trains appeared to be running into Liverpool Street.

In what may have been a triumph of spin, the Network Rail site was trumpeting the successful completion of the works on time. No mention of our major disruption and certainly no apology - so if that was true did that mean the train manager, London Travel Watch and the BBC web site, all of whom were blaming overrunning works, were wrong?

Someone's not playing straight.

Facebook Can Ruin Your Life

Over at John Allsopp's excellent blog is a thoughtful piece on this shock expose from the super soaraway Independent. I agree that people who say the firm they work for is shit, or brag about drinking on facebook shouldn't be surprised if this comes back to bite them. It staggers me that people can be so dense as not to realise.

However, as far as privacy is concerned, if only friends can see details, how are employers able to check what's on there? Or are all the people bragging about drinking and how shit their employer is also daft enough to have open profiles? I've been digging around trying to find out without success.

I know that since joining I have received an unsolicited "friend" request from a bloke I don't know - and I don't think he's one of my friend's friends, so how did he know I exist? There's nothing sinister about that in itself - we were all strangers before we were friends of course.

I am lucky enough not to need to worry too much what an employer might find on my blog or Facebook because:

I work for myself
I don't blog under my own name
My Facebook profile doesn't use my real name

I do this because before I worked for myself I did have to worry about what Employers might make of my trenchant views on the government's diabolical ID card scheme, for example.

I did, however, want to blog about this and other stuff. I still do, and since my blog isn't really for much other than my own interest (I never did manage a diary so this is as close as I'll probably ever get), I don't care to shout about who I am.

One thing I did think was a little sinister though, and I hope it's not serious:

Update: A friend made this excellent point: "Will job opportunities be withheld for not having a site? Socially disinterested, inhibited, no friends?"

It's an excellent point, but I hope it never becomes reality. I mean, thinking about my close friends:

Mrs Urko (actually we're not married, but no matter) Highly qualified IT project manager - no interest in Facebook.

K&M - have an Internet connection but rarely use it. Both highly qualified engineers and good pals. No Interest in Facebook.

P&H - Have an Internet connection (business has a web presence), both highly qualified in IT, one still works in IT the other in own non-IT business. No Interest in Facebook.

D&L Highly sucessful at doing what I've just started doing (IT contractor) over a number (10+) of years, had own e-commerce site more than 5 years ago - no interest in Facebook.

T&D - Lawyer and IT pro have an internet connection (indeed were successful in signing up most of their small village in order to obtain broadband). No interest in Facebook.

If any of these people were denied a job because they didn't have a Facebook presence, it would be more fool the employer.

By the way, I'm not anti-Facebook - I just haven't really worked out what it it's offering me yet. I guess I might get more out of it if I used my real name - although as outlined above, most of my friends aren't involved. But then everyone would know I can't stand Mrs Thatcher (to this day), June Sarpong or the late Ned Sherrin, and because some people can't get past the idea of an honestly held opinion, that could count against me.

Memory and Aging Generally

I've been watching a fascinating BBC Horizon programme on memory. Having noticed a deterioration recently (I'm in my 40s) and hearing about Terry Pratchett being diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, I've been worried. Talking to contemporaries has made me feel a little better, but seeing a bloke in his 50s with quite bad Alzheimer's made me worry some more. I dunno - I had to give someone my car registration the other day and not only could I not remember it (I've never been that good at this) - I couldn't even call to mind the general format of a car reg number.

Driving Bans

The Tories have a point - what on earth is the point of a driving ban you can "serve" whilst you are inside and can't drive anyway?

Mucking about with Embryos

I haven't totally made up my mind about this. Instinctively I am against it, but then the dogmatic opposition on faith grounds I am hearing about makes me think I probably ought to reconsider.

As for MPs who seem to think they should have special treatment because of their faith - I have no sympathy. You joined the party, and you have to accept their dogma, you can't expect the dogma of your faith to override that as a politician. Set that particular precendent and Sharia law can't be argued against - it just becomes a numbers game rather than a principle of maintinaing a secular democracy.

Ben Elton and Privacy

I used to think Ben Elton was great - I loved his anti-Thatcher rants. Time passed and I felt he became a sell-out, and I questioned whether he was just saying that stuff for effect. I found his collaboration with Lloyd-Webber a repulsive idea and the subject in poor taste.

Tonight I heard him on Radio 4 doing a fabulous old-style rant in favour of privacy, and against stuff like Facebook.

Interesting, as I recently received my second invitation to join Facebook. I have joined, but not using my real name. Neil Harding (and a few others) would no doubt call me a paranoid Luddite for this, but the idea of voluntarily entering a load of personal data together with data connecting me with a whole range of people (friends and friends of friends etc) isn't one I relish.

Beyond that, Facebook raises some interesting questions. I contacted the first friend who invited me to join some time ago. I explained that I was now a member, and we could be friends; but there was a problem. She wouldn't be my friend because I hadn't used my real name. It got worse, the friend who introduced me noticed I'd joined a Facebook group called "I want to punch June Sarpong in the f****ing face". He took exception and didn't really want to be associated with anyone who was a member of such a group.

I left that group because I want to continue the Facebook experiment and I don't want to fall out with the one "friend" I have on there; anyone who knows me knows full well I wouldn't punch anyone in the face ever and that I just find June Sarpong annoying (along with a whole list of other celebs including but not limited to Shane Ritchie, Chris Moyles and the late Ned Sherrin).

I haven't decided what I make of this Facebook thing yet - I'm waiting and exploring a bit - but so far, two out of two friends have told me what I have to do to be their friend on it. Doesn't seem a great start so far.

Two Worlds Collide

Well, they do in my mind, at least. This morning I was reading about the poor old non-doms who will have to leave Britain if the chancellor makes them pay tax. I really must stop reading the Daily Telegraph in the mornings just because I know where to get a free copy.

For the record I really couldn't care less if a load of extremely wealthy tax-avoiders clear off to Switzerland. They pay little or nothing in tax so we won't lose anything.

Anyhow, it seems I'd better watch it, because wealthy folk who don't like what you have to say about them have high powered lawyers (I am really trying to get around my loathing of their filthy trade). These people send a letter to your service provider and they take down your website.


I am not in any way suggesting that people should be free to publish libelous comments - but the matter hasn't been tested in any court - all that has happened is that some lawyers wrote a letter.

Sadly (in a way) what this shows is that you're safer having a big business host from the USA than buying from a small local provider.

It isn't envy - I'd just like it if normal rules couldn't all be swept aside by a stack of cash.

Sir John Bourn

I've been following revelations about the former high spending head of the National Audit Office with Interest. On the one hand, I'm reminded of Noel Coward's autobiography in which (and I'm paraphrasing) he suggests one should travel first class if one has the money.

The thing that sticks in my craw is that it isn't his money; it's mine! Not only that but the tax that became due on the benefit received by his wife of such luxury travel was also paid for by me - and probably you.

None of this is in any way as bad, however as the fact that these fat cats have been accepting lavish corporate hospitality. That can't be right surely?

Details here

Why ID cards are dangerous

Not for the first time someone has put forward the arguments against ID cards in a much better way than I can.

I read the comments and there were a few of the usual "if you've nothing to hide" ones. Let's just be clear - I have nothing to hide - yet - but I also don't expect the government to think it has the right to steal my identity and licence it back to me.

Neil has a point - on this

I'm quick to point at Neil and complain at the worst excesses of his authoritarian jack boot tendency - but on the issue of electoral reform he makes some excellent points.

It's only fair to say so.

Hanging's too good

I try to be charitable - honestly. I try to imagine that the irritating shouty woman using her mobile phone as an impromptu megaphone on the overcrowded train today (of which more later) isn't just a worthless piece of scum.

I try to think how Derek Conway could be viewed with anything other than contempt.

I cannot, however, but think that the bloke driving the lorry in this episode, is, in my not very humble opinion, an utter, utter, pillock. Just because he couldn't be bothered to drive his lorry properly, a train driver was injured and thousands of people's plans were, and continue to be, totally messed up.

I suppose I should consider the possibility that something went wrong with his lorry - in my view that would be the only valid excuse for being so crap and causing people to be injured, late, out of pocket and generally disrupted.

Jacqui Smith - Not fit for Purpose

What poverty of ambition this poor excuse for a Home Secretary has. Not only does she think it's perfectly normal not to be able to walk the streets alone at any damn time one feels like it, she has this advice "You don't walk in areas you don't know, in any circumstances".

So that's it - and no apology for presiding over a government where this is the case; not even a pledge to do better.

Such crippling poverty of ambition is one more signal that our current leaders have totally lost touch.

I would like to live in a country where anyone would be able to walk the streets in safety at any time - and I'd like the Home Secretary to be aiming for that too, not telling me I can't expect to.

Can Gordon Really Be So Remote from Reality?

Gordon Brown's noticed, no doubt by reading the Daily Mail, that some people are a bit uneasy about the fact that everything is being banned by gangs of jobsworth gits. It adds insult to injury that said gits are being funded from our taxes.

If he tried really really hard, he couldn't come up with a worse solution than setting up yet another quango full of useless jobsworths. It is such a shame - an real opportunity missed, like much of Labour's tenure, especially in recent years. Step forward, the Risk and Regulation Advisory Council ( I am not making this up).

As for the organisation itself, it already has a website preaching mangement-speak utter bollocks like "On taking office as Prime Minister, Gordon Brown committed to taking the Better Regulation agenda to a new level by focusing upstream at where policy-making engages with risk"

This is a fucking talking shop. That is all it is. If Gordon was serious about this, he wouldn't have set up a stupid talking shop. No doubt this was the idea of some brilliant civil servant.

More On tragic Life Stories

I mentioned the presence of a new section in my local bookshop.

A casual survey of other bookshops locally proved they are all jumping on the bandwagon. The local "Books etc" found favour with me, though, for heading the section "real lives".

More Ubunto - Dancing In The Street!

Another really helpful bloke has published a guide to getting my laptop and phone connected via Bluetooth.

This is utterly fabulous - no more mucking about with cables. I can now use the phone as a modem without it needing a cable connection. It was reasonably easy to do, the connection is easier to invoke than in windows - on two fronts:

Vista just wouldn't see the phone as a modem (via Bluetooth) - ever*.

Now it's set up Ubuntu's easier to use than the Windows connection manager - and it doesn't keep inventing new connections and resetting defaults I already set like Vista did.

And it's faster.

Did I mention no cables?

* I spent loads of time downloading drivers and changing software - none of which was any use.

The last piece of the Ubuntu Jigsaw

Like this helpful bloke, I use a Nokia phone to connect to the Internet quite a bit. Mainly this is due to hideous charges for broadband access in some hotels - but that's another story.

Thanks to the above mentioned blogger I can now connect to t'internet via the phone using Ubuntu - this is great. I am already making use of Ubuntu at home (where I have a wireless broadband connection) as it is much faster than Vista on this laptop, now I can also benefit from the speed advantage on the road. As an added bonus, I don't need to shell out the largest part of 500 sheets for Microsoft Office as I'm now using OpenOffice.

Organ Donation

I've done this one before. If they change to presumption, I will opt-out and tear up my donor card. I have carried one for more than 25 years, but no more. As for Terry, his support for it seals it as far as I'm concerned - and the idea that (and I quote)"People who are waiting right now for a vital transplant for themselves or for a loved one will be saying, 'thank God or our lucky stars for Gordon Brown and everyone else who supports him on this. is, frankly, laughable.

If you haven't seen Terry's blog before I invite you take a look.

Diana

As the inquest drags on we hear more evidence that she was aelf-obsessed woman with paranoid delusions of her own importance. I never liked her anyway - right from the start. I think she was treated exceptionally badly by Charles and possibly the other Royals, but that doesn't make me like her.

I suspect the reason she became so popular with the flower-laying classes in death was that she was a beacon for their shallow values - she was the first "Royal" (in recent generations at least) to break ranks and buy a German car. This was clearly because of the aspirational brand value of it - she could have had a very much more expensive car that was made in the UK if she'd cared about it.

In spite of being thrust into the tyranny of fame, she seemed to court attention in the later years. Of course the paparazzi would never have left her alone, but she could have led a quieter life. I'm not saying I'd have done it differently, but then I'm not claiming to be any more likeable than her either.

Apparently she confided in her lawyers that the Queen was about to abdicate and that the Establishment was planning to do away with her by interfering with the brakes on her car.

Neither of these things turned out to be true and it just proves to me that she had no idea what she was talking about.

Of course I'd have had a visit from villagers with pitchforks and torches if I'd said any of this at the time of her death.

Stop Shouting

I mean it. Everywhere I go I seem to encounter people who's default volume setting is "stun". Stop it. Now.

Hardingworld

When the Revenue and Customs lost 25 million records on two CDs, Neil had nothing to say about it.

When Jeremy Clarkson had no case to answer in court, Neil thought he knew better than the court and suggested that "Clarkson drove 82mph in a 40 zone. You know it, I know it. " Of course, we don't know any such thing, principally because someone in the Crown Presecution Service appears to have made a basic error which no-one except Clarkson's lawyer noticed. Where does the fault lie here - well certainly not in the apparent inability of the CPS to fill in a simple form, not according to Neil.

No matter - fast forward a bit and far from being what Neil describes as a "smug git" (I could invoke the tired cliche about it taking one to know one.....), Clarkson is now Neil's hero for demonstrating that not only was the loss of all that data utterly unimportant, but it's so unimportant that it proves we need ID cards.

You may be having some problems working this out (I know I was), but it gets better. After some robust debate in the comments, someone asked Neil what he made of the woman with a rare form of Cancer who had wished to withhold details of her medical records and other personal details from cancer researchers. This woman won a Court battle that lasted several years over her treatment.

As usual, Harding, knows better than the courts, but he referred to the woman in such vile and disparaging terms that he has set a few other sites in the blogosphere alight with people trying to outdo each other in the elaborate nature of their insults to him(this is probably the best - especially the comments). I don't condone what Neil said, so I won't lower myself to his level or join in the barrage of insults. This is not because I don't want to, or I'm trying to occupy the moral high ground - it just doesn't seem right somehow.

And yet there is something about Neil's crazy, twisted logic and micro-management control-freakery that I do find profoundly worrying and highly offensive.

Clarkson for his part seems to have accepted that the loss of data was more serious than he thought. Perhaps like Neil, he hadn't actually bothered to find out what it was that had gone missing and the potential implications before declaring that it was unimportant - at least, unlike Neil, he has the grace to own up when he's so obviously wrong.

More on Cuba

Apparently the Canadian oil companies in partnerships with Cuba have failed to extract the amount of oil they promised. Some Cubans suspect this is because the Canadians are playing a waiting game in the expectation that Fidel Castro will expire before too long and whoever comes next may treat them more favourably. Provided there's still some oil to be had of course.

Technophobe Luddite

At least according to Neil Harding (bloggs passim) that's what my opposition to id cards says about me. I am writing this on my mobile phone so put that in your smoke banned pipe and fail to smoke it !

Cuba

If only I had the time, talent, or inclination, I could write a million stories from my recent trip to Cuba. During quiet moments when I’m nowhere near a computer (or even a piece of paper) a brilliantly-worded account comes to me…..and then.

For now it will have to suffice to say that it was very interesting to see a place where a lack of US trade and a bold and brave attempt to redistribute wealth makes for a totally different experience. It’s probably a cliché, but the experience said just as much to me about my expectations and preconceptions in a holiday destination as it did about the reality of the place.

Cuban propaganda claims to have raised educational standards and medical services beyond all recognition. It’s pretty much impossible to judge as an outsider; though I have no reason to doubt it.

Unlike those who insist that communism has been tried and totally discredited, I’m open to the idea that it may well have improved the lot of some or all Cubans – but I’m far from certain either way.
It’s an obvious point, but we can’t know what education would have been like (especially for the rural poor) in Cuba if capitalism had been in charge instead of Castro since 1961.

Speaking openly to a Cuban bloke when I got chance revealed something interesting; politicians in Cuba keep on (grudgingly and slightly) admitting there may be a few problems but promising things will be better. Soon.

I offended the guy by suggesting things weren’t much better back here (where our politicians say much the same and are elected on 20% of the vote). He angrily reminded me that we, at least have free speech. He was right (in a way), and I was certainly wrong; but I do sometimes wonder how much good it does us, especially in a nation where scrapping in the Next sale is a preferred Boxing Day pursuit.

Tragic life stories

I know I’m getting to that stage where I’m getting a daily accusation of seeming like Victor Meldrew. If the cap fits I may as well wear it, so today’s expression of utter bewilderment at the modern world is reserved for the fact that there’s an entire section of shelving at my local WH Smith’s reserved for “Tragic Life Stories”.

Words (or at least any words I could write) cannot begin to describe how crap I think it is that tragic life stories are so popular that they require an entire shelving unit; I mean this is a section of an equivalent size to the cookery one.

Control - A film

Control is easily the most affecting film I've seen recently. Others have praised the cinematography and I can't quibble – several times I found myself just staring at the image on the screen.

I don't think the script lived up to the visual appeal, but that's not a criticism really because the subject matter requires a degree of honesty; I'd have been disappointed if the story had been “sexed up”.

It's a sure sign of advancing years when people start making films about things you lived through. In this case I wondered what I'd have made of the film if I'd been able to see it in my early 20s (Ian Curtis was 23 when he killed himself). At that age I hadn't been married, let alone separated – but Curtis had.

Another thing that occurred to me was an almost biblical feeling that his suicide may have helped to prevent mine. (a bit like I was being repeatedly told at the weekend that Jesus died for me) One reason the music appealed to me was that it encapsulated my own depression and general morose feeling about the world at the time.

Best of all for me was the ability of the actors to capture some of what that time was like. I saw Joy Division in 1980, and the film sequences seemed very accurate to me.

Unexpected pleasure

I saw on telly recently (or maybe heard on the radio) that loads of people find their work colleagues annoying. I can sympathise. In the office where I currently work is someone who must rate particularly high on the scale of cheeky pointless oxygen thieves. I honestly would never get tired of waltzing on her face, preferably wearing crampons. She just cannot be quiet and do some work, she has to fill every second of her pathetic life with a loud and turgid running commentary of the cripplingly awful minutiae of her dire existence. Every aspect of her life is so much trouble, I wonder why she bothers to make the gargantuan effort of breathing.

Anyway, to escape the awful drone, I listen to stuff on my iPod so I can concentrate on work. The other week my cousin mentioned she's off to see John Cooper Clarke soon. I expressed surprise that he's still alive. Usually, listening to stuff I liked 20 or 30 years ago is a disappointment – most of it hasn't stood the test of time. Clarky described himself as a triumph of style over content when I last saw him in the early 90s, and I think he was only half kidding. So when “Post War Glamour Girl” brought a huge smile to my face and transported me to another place in the way that art (especially music) can sometimes, I was genuinely, and pleasantly, surprised.

Gig

There are two kinds of perfect gigs for me. The first is the Fall. At every Fall gig I've ever been to, there's a point where the excruitatingly repetitive nature of their music does something (good) to me.

The second is where the performers are so obviously enjoying the gig that you can't help it too. Generally they are also so good that they make me feel that I'm invloved - that I really could play/sing like that. Of course I can't, but the skill (or is it a talent?) is that they make me feel I could.

Ubuntu Linux

I don't normally blog on technical stuff, mainly because there are so many others out there that do it so much better, however I am so pleased with my recent Ubuntu experience that I feel compelled.

I have toyed with linux before, even upgrading an old PC I had hanging around so that I could install Suse. At the time, I only had a dial-up internet connection and one snag I hit almost immediately is that the internal modem I had, in common with many others, was so "optimised" for windows that it couldn't be used with linux. I even got as far as buying a serial external modem before giving up through inertia and lack of time.

Later on I tried to set up a dual boot laptop installation using XP and Suse, but I couldn't do it and information was scarce and contradictory about the how and why.

Fast forward to now, less than half a day's effort has me with a fully working linux system that dual boots with no problem so I can still use Vista. There is loads of good reliable information about and things just work without a lot of mucking around - great.

I'm so enthused I'm going to try and run the VMware player from Ubuntu and see if my saved windows 2000 environment runs faster than it does running the player in Vista - I have a feeling I know the answer already.

Police and Thieves

Of course, it may just be clever editing, but I was struck by the juxtaposition of a massive Police presence at the climate change camp near Heathrow today and the murder of a father by a gang of vandals.

It would be a cheap and easy point to ask where the Police were when this was going on, however to be fair to them, charges are now being brought.

However, when there are people terrorising entire areas, it is hard to see how one local authority is setting priorities. Step forward, Peterborough, where I once lived. I wonder how many people there really feel that this was their tax cash being well spent? I wouldn't.

More on Neil and DNA

Someone called Harry has done a far better job of pointing out the holes in Neil's DNA argument than I could do. I just know from stuff I've read about the technology and how it works, as well as the way some of the Police behave at times, that there is no hope of a universal database ever happening, let alone being the panacea that Neil naively considers it. Harry has some facts - good stuff.

But even if it could be made practical, it's just plain wrong for the government to assume my (and everyone else's) guilt unless proven otherwise. It flies in the face of everything I believe in.

That Nice Mr Major

As I've mentioned before, popular history seems to have recast John Major as a nice cricket loving bloke who was a bit of victim of circumstances.

This ignores his rise within the Tory party - he didn't do that without being an astute politician. More seriously, people seem to have forgotten his wicked scheme to avoid paying the paltry sum of five pounds to needy pensioners, cooked up whilst he was Social Security Minister and Britain was facing the coldest winter since 1947. In re-reading the history of this, kindly made available by Brian Deer, I came across something I'd forgotten - it was an uncharacteristically caring Mrs Thatcher who came to the (too little, too late) aid of the elderly poor, by overruling the crazy formula that meant extra payments would only have been made when Pork Airlines took over the London-New York routes. The formula, cooked up by that kindly Mr Major.

Neil On DNA

To be fair we need to store DNA on everybody.

No Neil - that's not fair at all

The DNA database helps the police catch the correct perpetrators of many crimes - some of the most horrendous crimes and some of the most difficult to catch 'anonymous' crimes are solved mainly due to the database.

Big claims - no references or evidence as usual.

The success of the database is unquestionable and is good news for all of us - innocent people have been set free as a result of the database.

Examples? Oh, I forgot, it's Neil.

Whatever argument we have against the database, this is the first thought that needs to be in our mind.

Incorrect. I don't do crime (apart from very occasional speeding - and DNA won't help them catch me doing that) so the government can keep its hands off my DNA. I don't need to have my DNA in their database cluttering up the results, thanks.

While you're at it, Neil, see what you can dig up on a 1999 case in England - that of Raymond Easton.

Military Action

The BBC report that in relation to the conviction and jailing of some criminals:

Anjem Choudury, one of the march's organisers and fined in a separate case, claimed there was one law for Muslims and another for everyone else.

"This is not a peaceful country. Look at the words of [suicide bombers] Mohammed Sidique Khan and Shehzad Tanweer who took military action against the UK," he told reporters.

"The more you put Muslims under pressure, the more problems there will be."


Killing people on Tube trains and buses is not military action, Mr Choudry. It is cowardly, criminal, terrorism. Murder. No excuses. You should be ashamed.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6903445.stm

More Neil Logic

More Neil logic

According to Neil, my opposition to the government’s plan to compel me to supply my fingerprints and possibly other biometric data for their insecure database(s) means I am automatically also opposed to mobile phones and bank accounts and if I have a mobile phone or a bank account or even use the internet I am a hypocrite. This would be a laugh if it wasn’t so offensive.

Neil-
The point about NO2ID is that there [sic] opposition to audit trails and tracking makes them de-facto opponents of bank accounts and mobiles. You cannot get round this.

It’s essential for Neil to write off people who oppose ID cards as dangerous tin-foil hat nutters; otherwise he’d have to accept that opposition to the scheme comes from a wide range of sources. Fellow doubters I’ve come across haven’t expressed hatred of modern technology as Neil suggests but it’s a classic smear tactic to pretend otherwise.

In fact many of the people I’ve come across understand far more about the inner workings of this technology than a bloke like Neil who would rather deal in platitudes than facts. He once claimed he could find out my home address by tracing the IP address I was using to connect to the internet – he even sent a link to site that explained how he was going to do it. Needless to say, he hasn’t traced my home address, despite my continuing use of the internet, but it betrays an interesting mindset.

Neil would make a fascinating study for students of the I’m OK you’re OK branch of psychology – if I disagree with him, it’s important for him add me to one of his lists of bad (and dangerous) people. If he doesn’t do this he’d have to accept that it is possible, for example, that a rich person who went to Eton might have a worthwhile opinion on anything (although I’m not rich and I went to a state school – that’s just an example).

That’s a shame.

What is more than a shame is the twisted logic. My opposition to a universal DNA database apparently makes me in favour of letting rapists roam free. I can’t begin to explain how upsetting it is to have such utter bollocks spouted in my general direction. I am not opposed to the use of DNA evidence in rape and other criminal cases, but I am opposed to creating a database that will encourage lazy investigations that rely on a trawl of a database rather than looking for proper evidence.

Neil accepts that there would be a few mistakes – but seems to feel it’s OK for a few thousand innocent people to be in jail if it makes the streets safer. Maybe we should just all go to jail? The streets would be pretty safe then.

He says you can’t trust the judgment of anyone who believes in God – unless that person happens to be Tony Blair, of course. But apparently for Neil there is no hypocrisy in supporting Blair yet saying anyone else who believes in God is untrustworthy.

A quick round up

So half the cabinet has smoked dope. We can do it but for you lot it's illegal. It was so much weaker in our day of course. Bollocks - you are hypocrites all of you.

I carry a donor card, but I am dead against the idea of an opt-out system.

Oh Goody, more road safety stupidity

Statistics show some young drivers are killing themselves and their friends.

What does the government think would be a fitting response?

How about banning the carrying of passengers aged 10-20 between the hours of 11pm and 5am? What the hell do they put in the water in Westminster? This is crap on so many levels, but here are just a few:

Like all this government’s recent ideas, this will be ignored by the people who don’t care.

Like all this government’s recent ideas, it will be a nuisance for the poor souls who adhere to it and the poor Police – who will be vilified for stopping yougster’s cars by the youngsters (on a practical note – will they just turn out the teenagers, possibly miles from home and the worse for wear whilst demanding their driver clears off without them?), and vilified by the tabloids as soon as car they should have stopped crashes.

It is, frankly, stupid; and it really worries me that MPs can’t see that.

Cornish Liberation National Liberation Army and other sectarian Morons

These tossers are typical of the chippy short-sighted sectarianism that ruins Britain (and certain other places) for me - not least because I'm English. I can't help that and I refuse to be ashamed of it. I'm not some daft blind patriot; but neither am I, under any circumstances, going to be held to account for things that have nothing to do with me, just because some racist hates the English.

Sun report on Jamie Oliver's response to the daft threats.

BBC Story

I have been the subject of anti-English rhetoric in Cornwall and the USA, by people who knew nothing of me and my background. I also got abuse on a US web forum from a person who claimed to be Irish despite being, by his own admission, of hugely mixed descent.

I have only been back to Cornwall once and it wasn't by choice. I won't be going again, and I won't feel I've missed much. I'm also not planning to hurry back to the USA.

The last word on this kind of ignorance ought to go to a taxi driver I met in Dublin recently. He picked up an American from the airport "you guys must hate the English" was the American's opening line. "Why would you think that?" asked the driver "cos they invaded your country" replied the American. "If that's how it works, everyone must hate youse lot" said the driver, and, he said, the American fell oddly silent.

Just Remind me what I get for my taxes

Now the trial of the 21st July bombers is over, it becomes clear that our wonderful public servants have been taking my cash and spending it on something other than simple common sense.

BBC news - 21/7 failings


It seems Muktar Ibrahim was allowed to leave the UK to go to a jihadi training camp in Pakistan, despite having been charged with threatening behaviour, related to the distribution of extremist material.

Not only that, but his having a criminal record was no barrier to him getting a British Passport:

BBC News Profile: Muktar Ibrahim

Instead of the public servants doing their job, we have the government giving them more powers when they can't even do the simple stuff.

By the way, the armed Police who arrested the terrorists are heroes in my book, but if the whole lot of public servants had done their job, the need wouldn't have arisen.

In the meantime, I'm being told I need to pay for ID cards and put up with a lot of extra security checks - why?

Gordon Talks Arse on ID cards

I listened to Gordon Brown's first Prime Minister's question time with interest. He seemed to be telling David Cameron that by opposing ID cards, he was hampering the fight against Terrorism.

This is flawed logic to say the least. There doesn't appear to have been any confusion about the identity of the blokes who tried to ram Glasgow airport with a burning Jeep. Even David Blunkett and Charles "Safety Elephant" Clarke admitted that ID cards wouldn't have stopped any of the terror attacks we've seen recently.

So this was just Gordon thrashing around for a way to make the Tories look "soft" on terror and security in order to cover up the failings of his own administration.

Alastair Campbell

Alastair Campbell raised a lot of interesting points in his interview on Today this morning. I switched over to R4 after listening to Chris Moyles droning on about how successful he has been on R1.

Back to Campbell; he made a good point about the position that the Labour Party was in when they were in opposition. The press was almost universally hostile to Labour and issued attacks often based not on policy issues, but on personal and even physical attributes of Labour politicians. This was always going to be difficult to counter.

Where the mask starts to slip with Campbell, however, is that he seems to be in denial about his role in this style of journalism and contributions to it. I have no great love of John Major's contribution to our national life - he seems to have been recast in history as a harmless cricket lover - this is to ignore the political and economic effects of his actions whilst Chancellor, boss of social security and Prime Minister.
That said, I don't feel Campbell's apparent description of John Major as a "second-rate, shallow, lying little toad of a man" added much to the sum of political debate.

What the interview revealed to me about Campbell is a thread of thinking that, sadly, seems to run through the thinking of any political party that's been in power for a while:

• More than once Campbell talked about not getting the message over effectively. This is the exact same language that the Tories used to use when being challenged on unpopular policies. They can't imagine that people don't like their crap policies - it must just be that they haven't "explained" them properly. This is an insulting attitude.
• He avoided a question about the information given to the press about Peter Mandelson's first resignation. In my opinion, he seemed to imply that that the press weren't told the truth in order to protect Peter Mandelson's feelings - and that such behaviour was OK, but his answer was so slippery that no doubt he could spin it to mean the exact opposite.

All this is what I find depressing - if people are cynical about politics, and as Campbell and Blair seem to feel, this is all the fault of the press, then Campbell surely has a case to answer at least in part, but he seems to think a few denials and weasel words are all that is needed to escape it.

He is part of the problem, not the solution, and the fact that he can't see that is the reason why ordinary people like me remain cynical, not because of the papers.

Neil Logic

I'm all in favour of strong opinions - and I have some sympathy with this from Neil:

I think anybody in this day and age who professes religion is either an idiot or lying. That is what I believe and I think it is something that needs to be said more often. There really is no justification for believing in a god and all the superficial and vindictive nonsense that comes with it - all the stuff about burning in hell and angels and ghosts etc etc. It is all gobbledygook and I don't understand how we can trust anyone's judgement who believes such shit.

Surely, Neil, this could very apply to our dear (and very religious) Mr Blair on:

ID cards
Iraq
Faith Schools
Abolition of the right to silence
Attacks on the Press

And so on - you said it!

Today's Petty Annoyances

Unlike readers of the Daily Mail, or indeed the people who write the rag, I don't go around looking for things to be annoyed about. Honestly, I don't. Some days, though things just won't be left alone.

First Today are all the people who drive through red lights. Today's shining example from my walk in to work is the bloke in a Mondeo who thought that him getting where he was going was more important than stopping at a red light, or indeed noticing that I had the green man showing in my favour (yes the lights had been red for that long). A while back I remonstrated with a bloke in a Mercedes who did the same and despite being half my size, he stopped and threatened me. Who's being the most unreasonable here I wonder? (maybe it's me).

The other is much less serious, but oddly more annoying - the need that some people seems to have to classify all music into a genre of some kind. Inevitably I disagree with whoever entered the genre in CDDB or wherever - but any case, in the words of Big Audio Dynamite "I don't care what key it's in, where it's come from, where it's been"

To highlight just how stupid and anoraxic this whole thing is, I cite exhibit A:

Booty bass
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The term booty bass can refer to several different, loosely related genres of music.

Miami bass - largely based in Miami and elsewhere in Florida. It is essentially the second form of Hip-Hop to come into existence, but wasn't known by the media until the 1990's, when the music had become stigmatised by explicit lyrics; includes performers like 2 Live Crew
Ghettotech - largely based in Detroit, Michigan, considered a fusion of Miami bass with new school Detroit Electro, despite it not resembling either. The tempos are far faster than either genre, and it maintains the repetitive nature of modern post-rave global electronic dance music.
Ghetto house - largely refers to later period Dance Mania Records recording artists. This is a brand of new school House music performers who loop often X-rated lyrics over House beats.
Baltimore Club - Also known as Baltimore Breaks, this genre popular mostly in Maryland, and sounds almost exactly like Ghetto house, with the exception of being based on breakbeats instead of House music.

British Gas

After months of me writing letters and reminders, British Gas have finally written back. They say they are sorry they couldn't be bothered to write back before and it's not typical.

They say they have tried to telephone me (I don't know what number they've been using but I haven't heard from them), and they cannot understand what my actual complaint is. They want me to phone them back.

My complaint was written in English, my native language. It was quite clear. It details the problems and what I would like British Gas to do about them, but apparently that isn't good enough. One of my complaints was that when I tried to phone before it was almost impossible to get through and after I spoke to someone who assured me she'd sort everything out, nothing was done, and a subsequent letter from British Gas denied that the phone call had even taken place. Not a good basis to be asking me to phone. When I have a moment I'll be writing again.

Edit: A little cursory googling indicates I'm not alone - indeed this guy's experience is near identitcal to mine.

Well, I've had my letter too

With credit and thanks for the idea to Longrider. I can't hope to match his hilarious riposte to the pathetic mangementspeak bollocks spouted in this standard letter the Labour Party has plainly sent to all former members, but I'm going to have a crack at it (the red is the letter, the rest my comments):

I’m going to get straight to the point - I want you to rejoin the Labour Party. I know we may have asked you to come back before, but now it’s more important than ever for the party to be strong so I’m asking you one more time. We need your voice, we need your ideas, and we need your suggestions.

Need in the sense of "not being in the least interested in" is that? If you were so interested, and you really wanted my support, why did it take three attempts to get any response at all after I sent my card back with detailed information about why I cannot support Labour any longer? You had a chance then.......oh hang on - I see; you're lying.

Let’s start off by being honest with each other.

I have been, you haven't.

So, you might wonder, how I’m going to persuade you?

I don't want to pre-judge the issue, but considering your opening salvo of lies, spin and utter bollocks, it's not looking good for you.

I thought at first I could try to arouse some memories of how it used to be. Remind you of how things were under the Tories – 3 million out of work, the miner’s strike, interest rates of over 15%? I certainly could mention these things, but it might not quite it the nail on the head.

Wasn't that all quite a long time ago now? I mean it was bad, and don't get me wrong, I loathe Mrs Thatcher to this day for the lasting divisive effect her amoral and philistine policies had on this country, but Tony Blair has said he admires her.

Perhaps I could tell you about all the new hospitals? How we’ve built or started to build over 100 hospitals in the last 10 years, and that the Tories only built one in their 18 years in government.

Using PFI, mostly, a Tory policy that means we'll all be paying over the odds for evermore for them. Wasn't it also on your watch that what was then the Inland Revenue sold all its buildings to a tax-avoiding offshore private company? What benefit did I get from that?

No? Have you got children?

No, next question.

Then I could tell you all about family tax credits, SureStart, paternity leave and trust funds. But maybe that doesn’t fit with you and your life.

Actually, it doesn't fit with my life, but I see you adopt the Thatcherite view and assume I only care about myself.

Not every issue or story resonates with every person, and just listing things that we’ve done is a bit of an insult to your intelligence. So what else can l tell you?

A bit of an insult? a bit?

The truth of it is, I can throw all manner of statistics at you, but you might not believe me because whatever I say won’t beat your first hand experience,

That's true - seen any worthwhile Policing or a decent Train service lately?

These days it is so easy to be cynical about things - politics, in particular.

Correct, it's a piece of piss - what with politicians claiming they'll clean things up and then selling honours, starting illegal wars and so on, it's a blinkin liberty if you ask me.

It’s easy to demonise people for one mistake, or to reel off powerful sounding headlines about one new ‘crisis’ or another, without thinking about the bigger picture. It’s easy to isolate the negative, whilst we take the positives for granted. What I’m trying to say, is that it can be easy to forget.

You seem to find it very easy to forget a lot of things - like why we supported you through thick and thin during the Thatcher/Major years - it certainly wasn't so you could saddle us all with ID cards.

People complain that political parties aren’t in touch with the local people, that we are only interested in you when we want your vote, and that what you really want from us is sincerity and honesty - to talk to you when there isn’t an election, when we don’t want something. You just want us to take an interest.

Well, we’re trying. We can’t do this all on our own. Those who criticise have to take some responsibility towards finding a solution.

Very bad (and piss-weak) argument I have tried to "engage" until I was (metaphorically speaking) blue in the face and with no worthwhile result. My Labour MP (who has now thankfully had the smug grin wiped off his face and lost his seat) was rude, patronising and sarcastic (bear in mind this was to someone who supported and voted for him) in response to my polite contributions to his website ID cards Poll.

He made comments on a local planning issue beyond what was reasonable for an MP, and members of his party (together with the Tories) made sure that the planning determination drove a coach and horses through the local structure plan (what the hell did we pay for that for?).

Their determination of the planning application entirely on party political lines (despite Lord Faulkner's claim that this doesn't happen) will cost the local environment dear.

The results will be destruction of a green field site which will be turned into a 24 hour lorry park and fast food outlet - all very "green". The main beneficiaries will be multi-nationals, a US one in particular (probably not the one you're thinking of).

My former MP's proud boast was of 1000 jobs to be created by all this environmental destruction. He made this claim in the local paper more than 4 years ago, and to date, guess how many jobs have been created? - Yep, zero.

People’s interest in, or connection to politics is
waning. For us to be effective, insightful grounded and ‘real’, we need your help. You need to tell us how to be better, critically and constructively. If you talk to us, we can listen. If you ignore us, we both lose out.

I talked, and talked and then some - you aren't interested, stop pretending you are.

Change can be difficult, and it is sometimes easier to say ‘I don’t care’. But apathy doesn’t stand for election. Apathy doesn’t ask you for your opinion, your hopes, concerns and fears.

And niether do you lot, you lying bastards.

Apathy doesn’t give you the chance to make things better, or to do anything.

And nor do you, my database-generated standard-letter nuspeak "friend"

To join, either complete and return the enclosed form, visit labour.org.uk/joinus or call our membership team on
08705 900 200.

Hang on, I've just got to stick these pins in my eyes - it's what I prefer.

Miliband's Blog

There's been much debate about the costs, so, fair play to him, David Miliband has detailed them. It is stunning that he sees nothing odd about a blog costing £6K to set up - but then, like most of the government, he knows zero about technology. He claims to write it himself, but then he needs a lackey to "post the entries" - why? - if he writes it why can't he post it?

What raised a wry smile from me was comments like this:

This rumpus over the blog costs and alleged party political bias is incredibly tedious. The fact that a Cabinet minister has a blog and is willing to engage with all of us through it is a cause for celebration.

Celebration? Oh yeah, let's have a street party! This would be "engage" redefined as "use our own money to preach at us and not listen to a word we say" would it?

Government costs a lot, it cost a lot even under Mrs. Thatcher. Politicians are political, they were even when the Tories are in power.

Who mentioned Thatcher? and in any case, what a pathetic justification "we cost lots but so did Thatcher" - to be clear, are you saying Thatcher was better, worse, or the same as Miliband? For my part I'm struggling to see why I should like Miliband any more than Thatcher, and I hate her!

So Now I'm a Paranoid Luddite....

Charles Clarke called me the "chattering classes". I'm not sure which is worse, but frankly, I'm a bit disappointed (if not at all surprised) that people who don't agree with intrusive and authoritarian State Licensing of their identity are being characterised in this way.

Thankfully, I'm not alone, and amongst the virtual community I have been lucky to encounter some thoughtful and incisive protagonists.

I have tried to see some good in the idea that the State no longer works for me, but that in future I will be obliged to prove to it (and various other people) who I am using an expensive and dangerous system imposed on me, but I can't.

I have tried to see the positive side in the reversal of the "innocent until proven guilty" principle that means that unless I sign up and pay for the State control and management of my identity, The State (and many others like Neil) will assume I must be a lying bastard with something to hide; but I can't.

Does this make me a Paranoid Luddite? No, it doesn't.

At least I'm not some starry-eyed idiot with misplaced vague faith in "new technologies". Our Prime Minister admits he can barely send an email, relies on his daughter to operate his iPod, and sometimes has to watch TV at Number 10 with the sound off because he doesn't know how to turn the volume up.

David Miliband claims to write his own blog, but oddly, he needs a civil servant to post the entries and vet the feedback comments.

Neil once told me he could find out my postal address using my current IP address.

These leviathans of computing and biometric technology assure us that our data will be safe with them - excuse my scepticism, but frankly there is fuck all chance they know what they are talking about.

Who are the real Luddites in this picture?

Neil and Longrider

I am starting to think Neil is doing it on purpose - he can't be serious - can he?

Neil can't do logic - so full marks to Longrider for persistence - I am about a nanosecond from the torrent of personal abuse against Neil that would just let us all down - but I feel he brings out the worst in otherwise reasonable people with his insane theories, random logic, reverse psychology and apparent use of English as a second (or maybe third) language.

Thatcher Told a Lie in the Commons - Shock

To listen to the apologists for the hideous amoral piece of dog excrement that is Mrs Thatcher, you'd think such a thing was inconceivable. However, I suspect when faced with the evidence they'd probably just say "oh well she did it for the good of Britain". Of course it didn't do Britain any good in this case, but why let the truth get in the way of a good bit of warmongering: a principle our current PM seems keen to follow.

Thatcher was asked about BA 149 by Tony Banks shortly after it had been allowed to land in Kuwait. She answered in her usual robust style that the plane had landed and refuelled and had a change of crew, and that it had all taken place prior to the invasion (this is all amtter of record in Hansard and the TV coverage). In my opinion, Thatcher must have known that wasn't true -or if she didn't she damn well shouldn't have opened her condescending nasty horrible mouth. The invasion had in fact begun several hours before the plane landed as several hundred innocent passengers found to their cost when they were rounded up by Saddam's troops and held in extremely unpleasant conditions. Not all of them lived to tell the tale.

Thatcher may not (or indeed may) have been responsible for the actions of BA management in this case (there is speculation that the plane was made to land because there were special forces on board), but she could have either kept quiet or told the truth in the House Of Commons.

It seems contempt for the House isn't as new as some would like to suggest.

Neil's at it again

Neil at Brighton Regency Labour Supporter has posted on ID cards again. Either he's doing it to be annoying, or he really doesn't understand the difference between the words voluntary and compulsory.

He also seems to think that a good argument in favour of bad things is that someone can do them already - as in someone can steal your identity right now - so why are you complaining about the government trying to help them?

He also makes a untrue allegation about the NO2ID campaign and repeats his use of Luddite as derogatory term in spite of the historical context.

Laughably, he can't tell the difference between privacy and paranoia, either.

All of this is a shame, because I still agree with him about Thatcher and PR.

Low Energy Light Bulbs

I have some of these - they work well in some places.

Some of my fittings can't accept them, and some rooms have dimmers so they can't be used in those.

When they are banned, my old fittings will have to be replaced and so will my dimmer switches.

Carbon emissions to manufacture new fittings - landfill for the old ones. How green is that?

Charles Clarke - The Insider

Charlie did a programme on C4 advocating ID cards and DNA databases. He called me the chattering classes (or should that be class). He is a nasty, sneering man with limited understanding of the facts about ID databases (see what I did there?).

As an aside, I couldn't do a better job of having a go at Charles Clarke (even if it is a bit like shooting fish in barrel for such a prize berk) than this.

I suspect the programme had less to do with any real ideological support for tracking the whole population and keeping tabs on everyone (which he seems to think would be great for us all) than it has to do with him jumping around shouting "don't forget about me! Me, over here, the fat one, you remember!" in the run up to the post-Blair Prezza scramble for power in the Labour Party.

Thinking Of Buying a House

I decided some time ago that I don't "do" new estates. However, thinking I should consider all the options in my search for a new home, I went over to the Sales Office of a new estate.

They don't know how much the house I liked the look of on the plan is, or when it might be available. They don't know what the dimensions of any of the garages are, nor are they prepared to consider changing them.

The showhome was hilarious though, it's been done by a colourblind person with no sense of smell judging by the stench of "air freshener" and the frankly mad colour schemes. I particularly enjoyed the little witty touches like the string of pans to be found secured by fishing line in the built-in wardrobe of one of the upstairs bedrooms, and the prominently displayed TK Max (sale) price tag on the dress hanging in another wardrobe.

When I emerged from the showhome, they must have spotted something on my face as they were quick to point out that the actual house comes in Magnolia.

They are going to ring me, but frankly, I'm not holding my breath.

Mr Grumpy Writes (again)

Took my sister to hospital today.

The Hospital car park was full with a very long queue, which we kind of expected. I dropped her off and went to find another place to park. I found an NCP multi-storey - it was pretty full so I needed to get a long way up before finding a space. As I came down the stairs I noticed the familiar stench of urine, but then I noticed a huge number of discarded bits of foil with burn marks - the stuff the junkies use to heat up the Heroin. There were so many it was hard to walk down the stairs - I had to miss several steps to avoid them.

I feel sorry for drug addicts. I think all drugs should be legalised.

As it is NCP must be paying (not much I suspect) to some poor soul to clean this stuff up - it had gone by the time we got back.

Whilst we were kept waiting more than 40 minutes beyond the appointed time, with no explanation or apology, staff kept appearing and calling out people's names. A nurse (I think) came in and mumbled something that might have been "Balbir Sandhu" but she said it without conviction. There was one lady who looked as if she might be of Indian or Asian extraction - so the Nurse looked at her and demanded "what's your name?" The woman told her, and it became obvious (as it already to was to the woman herself and presumably most of the rest of us) that she wasn't the person concerned.

We were stunned - this was like something from a 70's sitcom about funny foreign names. I don't claim to be an expert by any means, but I do try.

Precious Things

This seems to be one of those few days where many things converge. I went to see Bic Runga in Bristol last night. The opening song, “Precious Things” was the first one of hers I ever heard and remains a favourite. It brought a tear to my eye.

If I could find a suitable review site I’d post a review of the gig which I really enjoyed. I’d have preferred a better venue though, having the whole thing in the upstairs bar meant a lot of people couldn’t see (not a problem for me as I’m tall). If I can sound like a moany old git for a moment (I normally manage it) – I don’t get why people want to spend 10 quid on a ticket and then spend the whole gig talking loudly to each other and paying no attention to the artists – they could save a heap of cash (well ten quid) by just going to the pub.

Felt elated after the Gig – and sort of sad too. Why do I feel homesick for a country where I wasn’t born, and have only visited once for three weeks? Afterwards I went to get some food and the Finn Brother’s “Take the Weather” was playing on the radio.

After the gig I quickly moved to recollection of my mate’s poetry site and blog to which he has invited me to contribute – the gig was very inspirational so I ought to try.

Decided to burn a CD to listen to in the car – my usual stuff, Kermode’s film review. I decided to add some Bic Runga tracks than I remembered an entry in my mate’s blog about the Dandy Warhols – I don’t remember the song so I decided to burn that too.

Oliver's Poetry

Created by a friend of mine and in addition to great poetry, has an amazing blog.
http://www.oliverspoetry.com/

Much has happened since my last post

Moved out of my house. In order (seemingly) to confirm my dim view of lawyers, ours sent most of the proceeds to me. This was in contravention of the instructions sent to him in a copy court order forwarded to him in advance by both me and my ex-wife.

Went to Car supermarket to look for a more practical car. Mine has a boot and you can't even fold the seats down (what was I thinking of?).

Nicest by far (at least to sit in) was a Renault Vel Satis. The model they had wouldn't be my top choice though so I may look for another.
Second nicest was Rover 75 Estate - except the ones with black interior were a bit oppressive.

Other candidates - Renault Scenic, Citroen C5, Ford C-Max, Focus and mondeo. Fiat Uylussssee(?) and therefore Citroen C8 and Peugeot 807.

Ruled out: Nice Toyota Avensis (seat wouldn't go low enough), Honda Accord (shame - liked the outside). Vauxhall Vectra (new shape) estate - concrete seats and flimsy fittings. Peugeot 307 - flimsy feel and non-adjustable steering wheel. Renault Megane - too little legroom, Citroen C4 (same reason but a shame as I like 'em). Vauxhall Astra (concrete seats). Mercedes C class Estate - really flimsy feeling interior.

A visit to the dry cleaners

Enter man with suit and pair of trousers.

“Assistant” (for it is she) : Name?

(note - not "hello, you scum", or "hi", "good morning" etc)

Man : (says name)

“Assistant” : Have you been to us before?

Man : no

“Assistant” : On no, you’re not on our system, I’ll need to take some details.


I needn’t go on. I’d have walked out but I needed ‘em cleaned.

The whole thing was like (I imagine) somewhere in Eastern Europe – during communism.

I was never given any choice over speed and/or level of service or the costs. I was told when I could crawl back to collect my items and warned of the shorter opening hours on Saturday.

I won’t be going back.

The Role Of the Taxi in Popular Music

This proves I'm old. I don't need to get involved in fights about who was first since I only need to get a Taxi at 3am about once a year. I am old.

(this was prompted by The Arctic Monkey's "red light indicates doors are secure" and A line from "I Predict a Riot" by The Kaiser Chiefs)

The Truth About Stephen Lawrence

What is it? Nick Griffin made some allegations. Maybe he knows you can't liable the dead. I don't want to believe him because I don't like the the general thrust of his "politics". But what if some of what he says is true. Was the killing a racist murder or not?

It just made me realise that an ordinary bloke like me has no hope of finding the truth of this.

History I lived through

The stuff about Thatcher made me realise as I get older that history I lived through is being misrepresented. OK it's an obvious point. I don't care, this blog is for me - not anyone else.

Classic and Sportscar had an article about the Jensen Interceptor in which they claimed the three day week of 1974 was a problem presided over by a Labour Government. It wasn't, but my letter pointing this out was ignored. Like much of the motoring (and other press) they seek to rewrite recent history so Labour governments were always villanous and Tory ones brave and noble. "Yeah right" as the popular vernacular has it.

In "This Sceptred Isle" the coking works at the centre of an infamous bitter pitched battle during the last miner's strike is referred to as Orgeave, when in fact it was Orgreave, as any local (and plently of non-locals like me) would doubtless have known.

Mrs Thatcher cut taxes

Except she didn't:

'The tax burden peaked under the 1974/79 Labour government, fell under Lady Thatcher and is now set to go back to its previous late seventies peaks.' This apparently plausible statement suffers from only one drawback: it is completely wrong.
Maurice Fitzpatrick, Accountancy Age, 04 Jul 2003

Why can't conservatives seem to get their facts right?

Any time I read something like this I wait for their well argued critique. In vain. The author claims that the Dome was like this:

it involves wasting a vast amount of tax payers money organising a party designed to get Labour re-elected. They have done it before and we are still paying for the Dome to this day.

My recollection is that the millennium Dome was funded by the Lottery, indeed, according to this:

Michael Heseltine, the politician who arguably did most to get the Dome built, argued this week that the £628m of lottery money spent on the Dome should be seen in the context of the nearly £9 billion raised for good causes since 1994

Just remind me which party Hesseltine is in?

USA Uber Alles - My Way Or the Highway 2

Apple's itunes won't let us buy songs for 79 US cents because we're in the UK. There's a pretty sucessful band in the UK called Suede. In the US they have to be called "The London Suede" because an obscure lounge singer had registered the name. In the rest of the world, Suede are called Suede. Despite this, on iTunes pretence of having British site, Suede are listed as "The London Suede". You can't have it both ways, Apple, you gits.

Argos

Their website was down for much of the time I tried to use it yesterday. Later on the telly was plastered with adverts about how some clever bloke had used their website to reserve all his presents even though he'd left everything until the last minute.

1. It doesn't work if you can't log on (you didn't expect a rush at Christmas? of course you didn't).
2. If an item isn't in stock at the store you choose, you have go through other stores, one by one, until you find a store (or as in my case, don't) with your item.

This is hopeless and anyone could see that - I wonder who designed their site?

Mailwatch are just the best

They took the Mail's CD of Christmas Carols and auctioned it - the proceeds going to Asylum Welcome - they have written to the Mail to let them know - quality.

As part of this I noticed that there's a blog dedicated to letters to the Mail too.

Trust your instincts

It's an attractive idea - well explained over at timewasting. I'm off to make a start. Just as soon as I've done my expenses, written this plan and asked a few people what they think.

Mr and Ms Shouty Revisited

Bliss! Through co-operation between passengers and a zero-tolerance Train Manager the shoutys and the bloke with a 10k Turbosound rig strapped to his head were banished from the quiet zone for more than an hour of the two-hour trip.

The Court Service

I'm sure it is staffed by some wonderful people. I have had occasion to write to them because of a huge delay. Of six letters I've written, two (and oddly, the two containing the most significant details) have apparently failed to arrive. They must be in one of the most amazing selective Royal Mail Bermuda triangle areas ever - and fancy - right in the middle of London.

Email sent from my gmail.com address to a general "customer services" (Ha!) address remains unanswered.

Eventually a lady who I'd been in correspondence with at HMCS sent me an email (after I'd tried to e-mail her without success) - I replied immediately. It never arrived. Seemingly all my e-mail to the court service is filtered out so they never get it.

No one cares - and there's no-one to complain to. This is the Law, sonny, run for their benefit, not yours.

I moan a lot

1) I wish I was more tolerant.
2) This is the most wonderful thing ever and restores my faith in a whole lot of things - I'd thank the originator if I could find his details.

My way or the Highway

Microsoft Works 8 has a dictionary. It includes a reference to Burton-On-Trent.

Bur·ton-up·on-Trent
Bur·ton-up·on-Trent [bùrt’n ə pon trént] town on the Trent River in Staffordshire, central England. It is a historic brewing center. Population: 60,525 (1991)
Encarta ® World English Dictionary © & (P) 1998-2004 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.

Thanks Microsoft, for not noticing, or caring (like most Americans) that we spell it "centre"

Their dictionary mentions some spelling disparities, but British English spellings are never in the index - just added to the US ones as an afterthought.

Hate

Is arguably overused, however it can be a lot of fun as this* and this prove
- especially, of course if they fit in with your own view of the world.

*...er - not strictly entitled hate but that was how I found it.

I was sure I remembered reading a very good justification for taking a negative view of things from Neil Tennant ages ago - but now all I can find is people saying Neil Tennant wasn't negative in their web reviews. Oh well.

I don’t mind if he shouts at you

One of the perils of working as the person trying to implement a big expensive piece of software for a customer is if you also work for the software supplier. In the minds of the customer’s workers you are solely responsible for all of the failings of the supplier and expected to work miracles to make things happen. This is fine if the supplier is good at customer care as a whole. It becomes less fine when they aren’t too bothered. (Thankfully I don't have to do this any more).

Every now and again something happens that really stops me in my tracks and makes me think.

On this occasion we had a problem – I was talking to more techy people than me back at the office but not making much headway – they were busy and seemed to be asking for more and more evidence – in a bid it seemed to keep me at arm’s length whilst they did something else. In the meantime – I thought I knew what the problem was and was trying to short circuit the process (never a good idea with people who think they know better than you – but fatal if they are also under pressure) . I was also being taken to task on a regular basis by an employee of the customer.

This young man knew our system was complete rubbish and implored me to fucking sort it out. More worryingly, he was busy telling all his colleagues how uesless the system was. Any time anything he didn't expect happened he came and shouted at me. I'm not easily intimidated - but I did think I ought to do something about the situation for the sake of the project and myself.

An opportunity presented itself when we had a meeting with the customer's senior manager - a woman who I thought had shown some compassion and decency in the past. I mentioned Mr fucking sort it out, explained I was doing my best, but voiced my concern about the way he was mouthing off to all and sundry about the system, and also threw in the fact that I didn't really like being shouted at so much. "Oh I don't mind if he shouts at you" she said (at first I thought she was joking but then I could see from her face she was serious), "but I am concerned if he's spreading negativity about the system" - ok my view of things properly readjusted.

Other Blogs and Mrs Thatcher

Spent a bit of time reading other blogs. I've read loads of 'em lately, mostly in connection with my opposition to ID cards. However, tonight I thought I'd have a night off from politics - so found this where Thatcher's plans to nuke the Argies (as reported in the Guardian) are discussed at some length and some interesting points raised. This reminded me of the excellent 20 reasons why I hate Thatcher on Neil Harding's blog. I've always suspected (without intending any disrespect to those who fought in the war) that Thatcher could have avoided it.

Anyway, I really enjoyed quite a bit of Andrew Skudder's blog. Not least because it introduced me to the excellent Mailwatch I am a long time detractor of the Mail, due mainly to it's bitter, envy ridden, twisted attitude to anyone or any group it decides are the architects of the terrible assualt on comfort, riches and house price increases that it imagines is always with us. Since I refuse to ever pay money for it, I don't often get a chance to marvel at how truly awful it is.

All my (schoolmate's) yesterdays

It seems a bloke I was at school with was more famous than I realised. I was at school with Dave Parsons AKA Dave Moscow, lead singer of SPLAT! - the website was created by another band member John Allsopp who I was also at school with - he now does websites as a career.

So I did vaguely know that Dave was running a record label, however, I didn't realise that there had been quite so many releases on the Ron Johnson Label.

On a slightly related note I came across a website for Stump, one of "Ron's" early "signings".

Oi you! Get orf my bandwidth

Seemingly, every piece of software I run wants to use my Internet connections (OK I know it's my fault for running Windows – XP in my case). These applications don't usually have the courtesy to bother asking me before going for a surf, so the only reason I know is because of firewall warning. Of course, for anti-virus and similar software, it's essential that it stays up to date. However, because of the peripatetic nature of my work, I have a variety of connections available to me in variety of circumstances, and it's not always appropriate for applications to go and get stuff of the Internet, even if it's available.

Aside from this, call me a control freak, but I'd prefer to know when this stuff is going on rather than have it all going on behind my back.

Microsoft Word has always been on my list of most annoying offenders – why does a word processing application think it needs to connect to the Internet every time it starts? Maybe they could make it a bit quicker to start if they took this bit out.

Then there are the applications that use the Internet to provide help. I have a couple of shareware apps that were so useful I bought licences for them, I can just about excuse their having help on the Web – after all they are operating on the margins, so I don't mind. They are small apps in any case so they don't need a lot of help. I now find that Microsoft word 2003 uses help from the Internet as its first option, only grumpily offering something from its own files if the Internet connection is denied.

Continuing my “who's the slave and who's the master?” theme, I want the machine to start up as quickly as possible so I can get on with whatever I want to do – I'm happy to start the apps I need and take the hit if they take a bit longer because I didn't load something at startup.

I don't want every app to slow down its starting time while if naffs off over to the Internet to look for something I haven't asked for and which almost certainly isn't for my benefit.

Mr and Ms Shouty

I know it's hardly original but this week's round up of shouty mobile phone calls starts withGiles Witham who had a crisis involving training for his project at the Bristol and West – however, if she wasn't a competent trainer, AXA would surely never have employed her, so that's alright. He wanted to touch base with everyone, it seems.

Then there was a woman who didn't identify herself but was counseling her friend against having an affair. She was “not being funny”, but there wasn't a lot wrong with his wife – although as she announced repeatedly “he is a twat” - an
expression that would have mortally offended my Ma.

Top marks go to a woman who will (but doesn't deserve to) remain nameless – she announced her bank security details including name, address (Swanwick, near Alfreton, Derbyshire) and full date of birth so loudly that it would be tempting to arrange to drain her account simply to alert her to the fact that there are in fact other people in the world.

Ian Huntley and Lord Mackenzie

As reported here
Former government crime advisor Lord Mackenzie disagreed with Dame Stella's assessment, saying there were plenty of examples of occasions when ID cards would have prevented crime.
He told BBC News: "Let's look at the Soham murders. If Ian Huntley had had an identity card, would he have got the job at Soham school which allowed him to commit the murders? I think not."

Of course, Lord Mackenzie has form in this area. As reported here:

Humberside police failed to tell Cambridgeshire Police about earlier allegations that Huntley was a serial sex attacker. The force had also destroyed notes about his past misdemeanours.
I [David Blunkett] took the decision to suspend Chief Constable Westwood knowing full well that it would not be welcomed by Mr and Mrs Wells
Both Kevin Wells, father of Holly, and former top policeman Lord Mackenzie have opposed Mr Blunkett's proposed action to sack Mr Westwood.
Lord Mackenzie said Mr Blunkett should take some of the blame for the police failings.
The Labour peer, a former adviser to Tony Blair on policing matters, said Mr Blunkett's department must bear some responsibility for the shortcomings in police intelligence procedures.

This Letter sent to the Northern Echo and Darlington & Stockton Times tells the truth about this stuff:
SOHAM MURDERS: LORD Mackenzie of Framwellgate claims that the tragic Soham murders show the need for compulsory identity cards.
In fact, they show why they would be useless. Ian Huntley was able to get a job in a school because police did not have the training and resources to use the information systems they already had.
Huntley's other name, Ian Nixon, was already known to police. They knew exactly who he was but not about the string of allegations of underage sex and sexual assault.
ID cards wouldn't have changed that. Spending some of the nearly £3bn that Lord Mackenzie wants to spend on the ID card gimmick on making sure police and social services can understand the systems they already have will hopefully prevent such awful tragedies happening in future. - Paul Leake, Durham.

Here's what Lord Mackenzie had to say in the House Of Lords:

Ian Huntley had changed his identity, which allowed him to obtain employment as a school caretaker

It is true that Huntley applied as Ian Nixon, but it seems to me that one significant factor was that no-one checked his references. That simple check, not an unreasonable thing for a school to have done, would surely have raised questions. He provided "open" or "to whom it may concern" references rather than giving names of referees, but not to contact any of them was surely the key to him getting the job?

This is from the Bichard report into the Soham Murders:

1.257 Mr Gilbert accepted that checking for any gaps in an applicant’s employment history, and obtaining a satisfactory explanation, formed an important part of recruitment. However, he had no recollection of going through the dates with Huntley at the interview to find out exactly when one period of employment started and another stopped.

1.263 Mr Gilbert was confident that for support staff appointments, the referee would have been asked for their opinion on the candidate’s suitability to work with children. None of the open references provided by Huntley addressed this. Mr Gilbert accepted this was a question which should have been asked of the referees. However, as the school did not contact any of the referees or follow up the references in any way, this issue was never raised with them. Mr Gilbert accepted that the references should havebeen followed through and that not to have done so was a mistake.

(My Emphasis)

Having an ID card would not have made the school check Huntley's references, or made up for serious shortcomings identified in the actions of two Police forces.

The Practical and the Moral

I'm pleased Neil has changed his mind about the government's ID card plans - even if that does mean there's now apparently no blogger in favour.

One thing I found interesting, and it's something he and I will never agree on, is the basic princple of the thing. I think it's morally wrong for the State to manage my identity for me and to control any of my biometric data unless I've broken the law in which case I can see why they'd want my fingerprints. Neil doesn't and we'll never agree. On ID cards, my hope is the government will be defeated on the practicalities since they share Neil's view of the morality of it, not mine.

However, as someone on the No2ID forum (I think it was) pointed out, if you think an idea is immoral, the practicalities aren't really relevant. He cited slavery, where, for example, you could argue that slavery was a daft project because machines would be more cost-effective and productive than human slaves. This would be to ignore that slavery was wrong.

In my view ID cards are just wrong - I think Mrs Thatcher (as someone else pointed out) would've used 'em to stop miners travelling around during the strike. The Police were already mounting roadblocks and other dirty tricks in what is supposed to be a free country.

Thank you to the Rebels

Not really interested in the Tories who understandably had a vested interest in a policy that made the PM look bad. The Labour rebels, however, are admirable for standing up against the notion that the Police are now in charge of making laws as well as enforcing them. If the Police stopped doing stuff like shooting electricians on tube trains, I might have more of a reason to trust 'em.

Now we find that Kitty Ussher, MP for Burnley, says even those who mounted a principled objection to an illiberal and dangerous measure will have blood on their hands...if we have another terrorist attack that the plod say they could've stopped by holding the perpetrators for 90 days without charge or trial.

(by the way - don't I recall reading somewhere that Inspector Knacker had already taken an interest in one of the 7th July Bombers but decided they weren't a risk)

Talk Politics and Chicken Yogurt say this much better than I can, but I needed to add my voice to those wondering where locking people up for ages started to take priority over her professed interest in "jobs and housing" as described on her website.

Mind, you according to the same website, she "built a new football pitch in the local park" - impressive.

For a balanced view on the 90 day proposal - from someone with first-hand knowledge this takes some beating.

The John Peel Of Politics

I'm very dissapointed in Neil Harding who now claims to be the "John Peel" of politics. I don't know if Peely would've been in favour of ID cards, as Neil is, but I find it tastless in the extreme that he adopts Peely's name in connection with his political activities - I think he should remove it now.

On being a Property Magnate

Whenever I watch these programmes on TV where people want to become a property developer, they always seem to spend loads more than budget on quality fittings - money they never recoup. As I'm moving soon, I hope to find one of these projects so I can get maximum value.

What's the point of a recorded apology?

If my train is late or cancelled - it's just an insult for a computer-generated voice to tell me he/she is sorry. Better not to bother.

Similarly, my call is plainly not important to you - if it was you'd have spent some money employing someone to answer it.

ID cards, Luddites and progress

Change and technology are generally unavoidable. Does this mean all technological change is good? I would argue that Nuclear Power, Land Mines and Nerve Gases are examples of stuff we have done that were great technical advances but haven't been a great benefit to societies.

I take my liberty (civil liberty, if you like) seriously - and this post from the NO2ID website says it better than I could ever have done:

A contempt for civil liberty is very plainly here equivalent to a terrifyingly deep trust in officialdom and a desire for a wholly regulated society. He thinks individuals ought not to be permitted any freedom that we might misuse, indeed that the desire for freedom is a sign of evil intent, whereas government is all-wise and benevolent. A civil liberty is an entitlement to do something in civil society with the government (or other third party) having no right to interfere. It is something you don't need permission from an official to do. It does seem to some of us desirable that the number of such personal or collective liberties remains as high as possible, and that the government needs a very good reason to remove any of them, even those we happen not to be using at the moment.

The "He" in this context is Neil Harding who can see no reason why I shouldn't give the government (and obviously all future ones of whatever type) my fingerprints, photo and Iris details and promise to keep my address and other data on their database up to date at all times, in return for a card. The "benefit" I'll get from this is being asked to provide my card more and more often for trivial reasons. All of this is because Neil and the government assume that I and everyone else will always lie if asked who we are, and must have the government administer our identity for our "own good".

I disagree.

Longrider puts the case here pretty effectively so I'm not going to go over it again.

Finally - for a bit more of a in-depth summary of what Luddism really was - I think this is quite worthwhile.

Luddites

Don’t get me wrong, the Luddites weren’t perfect. In a debate on ID cards Neil Harding uses the term liberally, and in a pejorative sense. I wish he’d read at least the Wikkepedia entry on the Luddites, and particularly the part on E. P. Thompson's view of Luddism.

I found this entry on an area of the University Of Colarado in Denver’s website – I quote it selectively, but the full thing can be found here.

“Today's Luddites continue to raise moral and ethical arguments against the excesses of modern technology to the extent that our inventions and our technical systems have evolved to control us rather than to serve us and to the extent that such leviathans can threaten our essential humanity” (my emphasis)

Here’s what Lord Byron had to say about the Luddites in his speech in the House of Lords (27th February, 1812)

“Such was the state of that county, and such I have reason to believe it to be at this moment. But whilst these outrages must be admitted to exist to an alarming extent, it cannot be denied that they have arisen from circumstances of the most unparalleled distress: the perseverance of these miserable men in their proceedings, tends to prove that nothing but absolute want could have driven a large, and once honest and industrious, body of the people, into the commission of excesses so hazardous to themselves, their families, and the community.

They were not ashamed to beg, but there was none to relieve them: their own means of subsistence were cut off, all other employment preoccupied; and their excesses, however to be deplored and condemned, can hardly be subject to surprise”.

I’m not a Luddite, at least not in the way Neil Harding means. I embrace and welcome an enormous amount of new technology and I work in IT. The irony of being called a Luddite by a bloke who thinks he can find my street address from the IP address used to post comments on his blog makes me smile.

Technology (and the government) should be our servant, not our master. This corrosive ID proposal wants to make me into a servant of the government – well I have news for the government (not just this one – any government) – that’s not happening to me. Ever.

Call centres in India

There seems to be a received wisdom that these are not good.

I’ve had occasion to deal with the call centres of a couple of mobile phone companies recently. The ones in the UK (judging by accent of course) were curt and generally unhelpful.

The ones in India (judging by accent of course) were helpful, polite and efficient.

I am concerned about the longer term effects of exporting all of our jobs overseas, but based on my limited experience of these call centres, if I refused (as I’ve considered) to have anything to do with companies with overseas call centres (in an attempt to protect UK jobs), I’d be cutting off my nose to spite my face (and not for the first time).

Virgin Trains Entertainment system

3.5mm Jack sockets between each seat, with channel and volume controls. The sort of things you’d have been lucky to find on a plane not all that long ago. Nice idea. For me, I’d love to listen to radio 4 on my current 2hrs 40mins each Monday morning. According to the in flight, er sorry in train magazine, I can – brilliant – you couldn’t even do that on a plane.

Except that radio 4 is very rarely actually available. On one train it cut out whenever we slowed down (if I didn’t think it was preposterous I could have sworn it was each time the driver used the brakes). Best of all, when it is on, it’s always interrupted by the RDS travel alerts. You know - the ones you get on a car radio if you use the TA/TP button that tell you about the jam you joined about an hour ago and then let you listen to s story about a bloke in Cheltenham’s recollections of the war because they’ve forgotten to press “off” in the local radio studio.

You have to smile - I took the train so I didn’t have to worry about that stuff. I thought it’d be something simple like a note to train managers/whoever turns the radio on – something like “there’s a grumpy old git who listens to radio 4 who keeps using our trains – please turn it on and press the TA/TP button to turn off the traffic news, otherwise he’ll send us another e-mail” but apparently, it’s more fundamental:

Thank you for your email. I am very sorry for any inconvenience caused to you as a result of the audio system not functioning fully when you have travelled with us. We are aware that there are some problems on Voyagers with the audio equipment.

We have a Defect Auditor travelling on Voyagers everyday, and he is checking and reporting any defects with the Audio equipment which in turn will be repaired. At present the Audio system is not as reliable as we would hope, however, Bombardier will be conducting a campaign on the entire Voyager Fleet and carry-out repair/replacement on all audio systems that are defective, at present materials are on order.

This should see an improvement on the Audio Systems. Once again please accept our apologies, however we are aware of the problems and the solutions we have planned should see a much improved reliability. Thank you for your time


Anyway, I’m glad a Defect Auditor is on the case. There I was thinking there would be a TA/TP button and an "on" button.

Lucky me

I work for an organisation that is largely uncluttered with stupid meaningless phrases borrowed from management gurus (and reinterpreted to render them worthless). We just do our job. We aren’t pestered for paperwork any more than strictly necessary (The paper in paperwork is finally starting to become a misnomer anyway, about 15 years after I first promised someone that we’d be doing away with it).

Many of the organisations we work for cripple themselves with internal politics and crazy management – we just get to laugh about it in the pub. We occasionally have to tell them something is mad or won’t work, but because we’re not part of the apparatus, they usually listen to us. If they don’t – we still get paid and we can go and work somewhere else next week/month/year.

The organisation I work for doesn’t make you into a “manager” before you can get a pay rise. You can get a rise because you (and/or the firm) is/are doing well. My experience of being a manager was that it involved listening to staff and customer complaints all day, going to see your boss about them and being given a load of new directives from on high that seemed to have been specifically designed to generate more staff and customer complaints.

Overall I am extremely lucky.

Vodafone

Didn't want to give me a PAC code, it seems. I was getting more and more fed up with them. In theory I should be their dream customer - spend quite a bit on monthly contract and tend to be an early adopter of new stuff I find useful. I tried their 3g datacard in my lappy for a while - but any time I had a query (not too often) I had a choice of talking to "helpline" folks who didn't know anything about the card or service (not their fault), or filling in a web form. On the web form, one of the compulsory fields was a landline phone number - which was daft as I was trying to do without a landline and give Vodafone my entire phone/data business.

Anyway, finally got a PAC code at third time of asking.

Then they phone and write to ask me not to go.

Maybe if they'd been a bit more help in handing over the PAC code, I might have listened - but to provide rubbish service and then suggest I stay for more of the same?